Yes, so…these kinds of antics are what led many “friends” to delete me in the past. Frankly, I don’t consider it to be a loss.
What, you’re too fucking retarded to know that I’m kidding around? You don’t think I’m worthy of your company, do you? Ha! Hit the road, Jack! And take your fuckin’ Pinterest image shares with you. Oh, and on your way out, why not take your Buzzfeed Quiz that’s supposed to tell me which “90’s Riot Grrrl Rock Icon” I am and shove it up your fat ass?
That was uncalled for.
But yeah, that’s the kind of stuff that prompted my exodus to the blog here. It also inspired the “mass purge” of early 2014, when I personally unfriended 50 or so people I considered “unworthy.” Just like Jesus went around smiting all the first-born males in the State of Israel in the New Testament. Go on, look it up!
Former ‘Friend’: “So like…I don’t get it? How many chickens actually have roads to cros—” *CLICK!*
As a matter of fact, since posting this off-the-cuff tomfoolery as I drank my post-work Heineken about forty-five minutes ago, I’ve received not one, but TWO random friend requests! Further evidence that there are people out there with good taste. Heh heh. Come on, you’ll allow me a bit of healthy arrogance, won’t you?
I’m going to stop referring to any readers as my “non-existent audience,” by the way. Today I notched just over twenty followers!
As Ozzy might say, “I LOVE YOU ALL!”
Might as well add this too, which I Photoshopped into existence about ten minutes before the above nonsense. I saw this appear in my feed for the 100th time and noticed that the original had over one MILLION (Yes, THIS: +1,000,000) comments and hundreds of thousands of shares and likes. I mean…what?! So you can see a name appear?
Anyway, I didn’t sign the stupid thing, so if you see this on Facebook with over a million comments, you and I will secretly know who created it. (Well…ripped off someone else’s creation and then re-purposed it, let’s say. But, that IS loosely the definition of original content: when you can repurpose one idea for an idea of your own, all the while not making a dime off of it.)
Would you believe I just keep finding these saved screenshots in my images folder? I do this all the time. Usually immediately after I get home from work, where I can do none of this sort of thing, you know? Ahhhh, who doesn’t love a good dead baby joke, right? I’ll tell you who: the “Some Person” who unfriended me after he saw this.
“Why’d you delete my comment – that was funny!”
“It wasn’t supposed to be funny! It was supposed to be cute!”