Signing Yet Another Office Birthday Card

When my birthday rolls around, I can expect to see a card on my desk that morning.

My name will have appeared in someone’s Microsoft Outlook the day before as a “Reminder!” notification. We’re all on a list, see. During that day, a file folder will make the rounds. On the file folder will be an 8 1/2″ x 11″ print of everyone’s names. Everyone but me, of course. That lets them know who the card is for. In the file folder will be the card itself, and everyone will take turns signing it.

What’s funny to me is that people make quite the effort to hide it from the birthday boy or girl, as though we don’t sign them all the damn time.

I don’t like how robotic this chore is.

I also don’t like how hardly anyone ever writes anything original. I mean, what’s the point of getting someone to scrawl “Happy Birthday!” on a card when they don’t even mean it. If it were unsolicited, that’d be different, but…not the case.

So yeah, that’s why I go to town whenever one passes by my desk.

Last week, the team’s curmudgeon had his birthday. Try to guess which is mine! Heh.

I spent about 45 seconds to a minute on it, passed it on, then forgot all about it. A part of me wondered if he’d take offense.

The next day though, I hadn’t even sat down when Yan told me that he “fucking loved it!” and how he too hated the unoriginal, vapid things people write.

Anyway, I’m glad it went over well. Try to guess which one is mine! (As usual, the names have all been erased to make it more of a challenge…and because I value their right to anonymity, of course.)






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